A helpful thought from Don Carson to put things into perspective:
I do not know how many times I have sung the words, “O let me never, never / Outlive my love for Thee,” but I mean them.
I would rather die than end up unfaithful to my wife; I would rather die than deny by a profligate life what I have taught in my books; I would rather die than deny or disown the gospel.
God knows there are many things in my past of which I am deeply ashamed; I would not want such shame to multiply and bring dishonor to Christ in years to come.
There are worse things than dying.